It is Sunday morning and I woke up at home, in my own bed, at my own time, in my own way, with my stuffed bear (aka hospital companion) Burny beside me. OMG, it is good to be home! There is something about the smell of home, the feel of home, the taste of home, that nothing else can be a substitute for (even no dishes or laundry...and that's sayin somethin). Anyone whose been through a crisis of any sort that forced them from home for any period of time more than 2 days knows what I am talking about when I say, home embraces you in a way nothing else can.
When I come home from the hospital on high dose corticosteroids (which is every time I come home from the hospital), I CAN'T sit still. I MUST get up and move around or my brain will explode from the pace of the thoughts racing through it. Physical activity is a necessary distraction, though it drives my family to distraction, frustration, and frayed nerves. They want to see me park in a chair and just "take care of myself" like they see me doing when I am in the hospital. And because I love them, and do so want to set them at ease, I really try. I lost 11 pounds in 8 days, all of it due to a racing heart rate induced by high dose corticosteroids which helped burn calories. My blood sugars now, as is customary for me when I am at the end of a crisis that required hospitalization, are falling so low, so fast, I have to be on constant alert to bad Hypoglycemic reactions.
In short, while I have returned to the warm, loving embrace of my home and family, the recovery is just beginning. But I had to take a moment to thank you all for reading, for writing back, for calling, for e-mailing, for praying, well....JUST FOR CARING AND FOR BEING THERE FOR ME. People and relationships are the reason we keep on keeping on. There would be no point otherwise, regardless of the height of the challenges we each face. I thank you for that. You will never know how much you mean to me.
I learned a lot during this hospital stay, but my greatest lessons were these, and I hope they came through in my journaling of the experience which is now at an end:
1) Listen to your body, to it's signals, to it's whispers. Respect what it tells you and live within the limits it conveys. There is so much life to be lived there, you will never feel deprived or wonder, "what's on the other side?", IF you respect your own body and give all you have to the life you can live within it's means.
2) Love is the greatest medicine of all. It doesn't need needles, or pedi-cups, or catheters. It is easily conveyed with a hug, a touch, or a whisper. Seek to love all you see, and all who touch your life. You won't be sorry you made the effort, and will even be surprised at how many extraoridinary people that effort brings into your circle and into your heart.
3) Grow where you are planted. THRIVE and need no more, for life itself is the greatest gift. Cherish, NO TREASURE every moment because that WAS the last, and every breath brings life anew.
To all of you out there, who helped me get here, thanks for delivering me home!
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